3 Ways to Kill a Graphic Designer

There are many cumbersome ways to kill a graphic designer:

you can pick up the computer

that contains all his files and smash his head with it.  To do this

properly you require his address, the key to his house and a Mac.

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 Dispensing with nobility, you may,

hack into his online portfolio, delete all his work

and replace them with nude pictures.  Then watch as

his career crumbles into pieces.

 For this you need the Ultimate Guidebook for Hackers

and a huge porn database.

———

These are, as I began, cumbersome ways

to kill a graphic designer.  Simpler, direct, and much more neat

is to give him a crappy laptop, a 54k modem,

and a 60cm x 60cm graphic to work on.

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John, the last stanza is for you 🙂

P.S. This is a parody of the poem 5 Ways to Kill a Man by Edwin Brock.  And for those of you that didn’t understand it, maybe the following two pictures will clear things up:

 John’s great design (no sarcasm intended):

My not-so-great work (very much resized)for my first ever client: